Lin Zhing Church tackles question on why beautiful couples' marriages break up
Hollywood couple Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes during their happier days before they split up in June 2012. The couple had been married since 2006.
Lin Zhing Church, an online community dedicated to solving porn and sex addiction, has come up with fresh insights to the question on why beautiful couples break up.
On the community's website, marriage life coach Shellie R. Warren wrote an article urging people to consider: "I mean, think about it. It seems that pretty much every day, we're hearing about a celebrity break-up or divorce—and a lot of those people are beautiful."
If people ask why, the answer is pretty simple—because looks are not everything, she said. "So no matter how attractive you are, that's not enough to get a person, keep a person, or prevent that person from cheating."
Warren said she has encountered couples who sincerely love one another and yet still engage in infidelity. The most common reason why this happens is because one or both of them feel taken for granted.
"Whenever I ask either the husband or the wife why they did it, the answers oftentimes lead to the same point: The husband feels like the wife barks, demands, or complains all of the time about what he's not doing or should be doing more of rather than acknowledging his actual efforts. The wife doesn't feel like her man is putting in the same kind of effort to 'keep her' as he did to get her," she said.
In the end, the "potential cheater" starts to feel taken for granted, and a void is inevitably created which neither can ever fill. Because of this, people start to look elsewhere to fill the gap.
The next reason is that the sex is just not good. "I thought about putting this another way, but some folks need to hear it just like that," explained Warren.Husbands often complain about lack of consistency while wives rant about the monotony of the experience. The number of times a couple should have sex should depend on the couple, stressed Warren, but one thing she would like everybody to keep in mind is that nobody likes rejection.
"So, if you're always brushing your spouse off or acting like something is wrong with them for wanting to have sex with you more than once or twice a month, that could cause them to develop an emotional wall first and a curiousity about cheating second," she said.
The third and final reason is that there is a lost connection. People who are married for 30 to 40 years might have changed over time, but their spouses failed to notice that change. If people do not pay attention to the person they are married to, then this happens, she said.
"In short, if you're not making one another a top priority, there will start to be a disconnect. It's the ideal breeding ground for an emotional affair, and oftentimes that can be far more destructive than a 'hit it and quit it' physical affair. Why? Because emotional affairs tend to create really powerful connections," said Warren.